Lessons in Global Strategy

[womzilla]

From the McSweeney's series of "Open Letters to People or Entities Who Are Unlikely to Respond":

An Open Letter to William Kristol, Richard Perle, and President Bush's Other Neoconservative Puppetmasters

Dear Bill, Dick, et al:

Why didn't you tell President Bush to invade Western Australia first?

I've been playing Risk: The Game of Global Domination since I was eight years old and never, never have I seen someone win the game by massing their forces in the Middle East at the beginning of the game. Too many borders! Impossible to reinforce! Enemies from all directions! Australia, on the other hand, is easily conquered. Start in Western Australia, make a straight-line march through eastern Australia, then on into New Zealand and New Guinea, and finally up to Siam, sealing the entire continent and guaranteeing an extra two armies per turn for the duration of game. (Ask Secretary Rumsfeld if those would come in handy.)

and more.

Comments

[mattapp.livejournal.com]

I was about to suggest the South American strategy, but I realized that having to defend two fronts might be a bit much for Rumsfeld to handle.

Thank goodness we're only talking about traditional Risk and not Risk 2210 A.D.

[kalimac.livejournal.com]

The Australian strategy is a winner if your turn comes around at just the right moment to break out. Otherwise you can wait helplessly as someone else (usually a South American) takes over.