A return to greatness for spam noodles

I suspect everyone here is getting hit with LJ comment spam, but I absolutely loved the word salad in one today:

I often enjoy reading eminence articles nearby an distinct who is simply up to snuff on their chosen subject. . . . Incarcerate up the spacious produce, dream of you next time.

How can I not?

So much for that goal...

Any year in which I have to use the sentence "My driveway was a solid sheet of ice" is less than perfect.

I did slip and fall, but very, very slowly, parts folding neatly into each other, allowing me to escape unharmed.