I have to give her credit

[womzilla]

I just got off the phone with a nice young-sounding lady working for a firm with a bland name like "Political Insights Inc." or some such. She claimed to be conducting a poll about "the election". The poll consisted of about five questions. The first two were just establishing that the poll was about my local state senate race.

In the 2004 election. my state senate seat was contested between long-time Republican hack Nick Spano--not a bad Republican as Republicans go, but I suspect you know how little that means to me nowadays--and Democratic legislator Andrea Stewart-Cousins. The 2004 vote was decided several months after the election by a total of something like 18 votes, and at least one bag of ballots, which could never be counted by court order, turned up after the certification: our own little Florida, right here in Yonkers.

I told my interrogator that as far as I was concerned, Stewart-Cousins had been elected to office and I intended to return her to it.

The third question showed what I expected: she was was conducting a push-poll. I don't remember the precise wording, but the gists of the third and fourth questions were "Do you know that Andrea Stewart-Cousins voted to rape your babies?" and "Do you know that Andrea Stewart-Cousins voted to steal all your money and set fire to your house?" After the fourth question, instead of answering yes or no, I asked, "You do know, don't you, that you're not really taking a survey?"

The woman paused and said, "I just ask the questions, sir."

I said, "But you know, you could have a more honest job, like selling crack."

Here's where I have to give her credit: She laughed. A lot. "No one has ever said that before!" she said, apparently sincerely.

So I said, "Yes, I would vote for Andrea Stewart-Cousins." She asked a more neutral question, still chuckling, and I answered it again, and she thanked me and wished me a good night.

I'm sorry she couldn't find a more honest job, but I'm glad that working for Satan hasn't completely destroyed her sense of humor. This is going to be a very nasty election season.

Comments

[kightp.livejournal.com]

I'm reminded of the time I (honestly) told a persistent telemarketer, "No, really, don't bother - I'm unemployed."

She paused, and with the first note of sincerity I'd heard in her voice, said, "I hope you get a better job than I did."

[bcholmes.livejournal.com]

That really shocks me.

I was trying to think if I could recall anything similar happening in Canada, and the closest I can recall is the "evil kitten-eater from another planet" news release that the Progressive Conservatives put out.

Overly negative campaigning generally backfires big time, here.

[womzilla.livejournal.com]

Well, I was exaggerating somewhat. The first question was something about Stewart-Cousins voting to let pedophiles live near children (I'm sure this was her voting against a sex offenders vigilante system), and the second was about her voting to raise county property taxes. But they were definitely scare quotes.

[bcholmes.livejournal.com]

Okay. That's good to hear.

I guess, after hearing about Rove's "McCain has a black baby out of wedlock" thing, I could believe that those were real quotes.

[kalimac.livejournal.com]

Procedural query: your state senate terms are only two years long?

[womzilla.livejournal.com]

Apparently so. The last Spano/Stewart-Cousins race was definitely in 2004; I was already working at Piper Jaffray.

[redbird]

Yes. State Senate and Assembly (lower house of state leg.) are both two-year terms. Governor, Lieut. Gov., Comptroller, and Attorney General are four.

[wizwom.livejournal.com]

You know, I wasn't aware New York had ever managed an honest election.