How dumb is George W. Bush?

[womzilla]

We now have a quantifiable answer to the most important question of our age.

On August 14, Bush gave a statement at the State Department and then took questions after.

Here is one of the questions and his answer, as highlighted by Juan Cole:

QUESTION: How can the international force, or the United States if necessary, prevent Iran from resupplying Hezbollah?

BUSH: The first step is -- and part of the mandate in the U.N.resolution was to secure Syria's borders. Iran is able to ship weapons to Hezbollah through Syria. . . . In other words, part of the mandate and part of the mission of the troops, the UNIFIL troops, will be to seal off the Syrian border.

And here's Max "MaxSpeak" Sawicky's demonstration of exactly how dumb this means Bush is.





To quote Max's conclusion, "We are so screwed."

But we can go even further than this broad statement, thanks to the wonders of mathematics! The border between Lebanon and Israel is 79 km. The border between Lebanon and Syria is 375 km. From this, we can conclude that George W. Bush is (375/79) = 475% pure stupid.

Now, at this level of dumb, it's hard for the layman to convert numbers like that into practical measures, so I've prepared this handy chart for future reference.

% Stupid	Dumbness Level	Characteristic Behavior	Exemplar
-100	Anti-dumb	Discovers important truths about universe while trying to disprove quantum mechanics	Albert Einstein
0	Smart	Discovers quantum mechanics	Werner Heisenberg
50	Smart-dumb	Abandons research into physics to devote life to Bible exegesis	Isaac Newton
100	Crazy Dumb	Tries to disprove quantum mechanics via Bible exegesis	That Timecube Guy
200	Dumb as a sack of hammers	Tries to disprove evolution via quantum mechanics and Bible exegesis	Jack Chick
300	Dumb as two sacks of hammers	Starts land war in Asia	Napoleon
400	Iron Cross of Dumb	Starts land war in Asia while involved in second war	Hitler
500	Chimpanzee Dumb	Starts land war in Asia because of Bible exegesis	George W. Bush
600	Genghis Dumb	Starts land war in Asia while involved in second land war in Asia	Dick Cheney
700	Dumb stacked five high with Dumb syrup	Believes Doug Feith	Paul Wolfowitz
800	Congressional Medal of Dumb	Hires Doug Feith	Donald Rumsfeld
900	Fucking Stupidest Guy on the Face of the Earth(tm) Dumb	Manages to get fired by Rumsfeld for being too dumb	Doug Feith
1000	The Golden Dumb	So dumb even the neo-cons don't want to have anything to do with you	Jeff Goldstein

Don't say I never did anything for you.

Comments

[del-c.livejournal.com]

Somewhere between Isaac Newton and Timecube Guy you need to put Roger Penrose (tries to disprove evolution via quantum mechanics)

Spelling Police: the GH-Men!

[del-c.livejournal.com]

Also, psst, the rule is, whenever you know there's an 'h' in somebody eastern's name, it's always in the second syllable, no matter how much your brain is telling you it's in the first. so,

Genghis, not Ghengis
Gandhi, not Ghandi
Gurkha, not Ghurka
Buddha, not Bhudda

but it is dharma, not darmha, so the rule isn't perfect. But damn, it's a more reliable rule than "I before E..." is most of the time.

Re: Spelling Police: the GH-Men!

[fjm.livejournal.com]

I've been collecting exceptions to the i before e rule.

Re: Spelling Police: the GH-Men!

[akicif.livejournal.com]

Here, I have some spare:

absenteeism Aeneid agreeing albeit Alexei Anaheim Andrei aniseikonic
apartheid atheism atheist Bahrein beige Beijing being Beirut Bernstein
Blenheim Bodleian Boeing Brandeis Budweiser casein Cassiopeia
counterfeit cysteine decaffeinate decreeing deify deign deity
deoxyribonucleic dyeing edelweiss Einstein Einsteinian einsteinium
Epstein Fahrenheit featherweight feign feint Ferreira Fischbein
fleeing foreign forfeit forfeiture freeing freight gauleiter
Gegenschein Geiger Geigy geisha gneiss Goldstein guaranteeing
Guggenheim heavyweight Heidelberg heigh height heighten Heine Heinrich
Heinz heir heiress Heisenberg herein hereinabove hereinafter
hereinbelow heterogeneity Heublein Holstein homogeneity inhomogeneity
inveigh inveigle Janeiro kaleidescope kaleidoscope Keith Klein Leigh
Leighton Leila leisure leitmotif leitmotiv Liechtenstein lightweight
l'oeil Lorelei Madeira Madeleine Marseilles McNeil Meier meiosis
Meistersinger middleweight mullein Neil neither nereid nuclei nucleic
obeisant Oneida O'Neill onomatopoeia onomatopoeic Oppenheimer Oresteia
pantheism pantheist paperweight pharmacopoeia plebeian Pleiades
Pleistocene Pompeii Poseidon prosopopoeia protein Raleigh Rayleigh
refereeing Reich Reid reign Reilly reimbursable reimburse rein
reindeer reinforce Reinhold reinstate ribonucleic Rosenzweig Schneider
Schweitzer seeing Seidel seismic seismograph seismography seismology
seize seizure Sergei sheik Sheila sightseeing simultaneity sleigh
sleight sovereign sovereignty spontaneity stein Steinberg Steiner
surfeit surveillant Taipei teeing their theism theist therein
Thorstein veil vein vermeil villein Wei Weierstrass weigh weight
weighty Weinberg Weinstein weir weird Weiss wellbeing wherein
wisenheimer Zeiss

ancient coefficient concierge conscience conscientious deficient
efficient financier glacier hacienda inefficient insufficient Muncie
omniscient proficient science scientific scientist societal Societe
society specie species sufficient ancient coefficient concierge
conscience conscientious deficient efficient financier glacier
hacienda inefficient insufficient Muncie omniscient proficient science
scientific scientist societal Societe society specie species
sufficient

Re: Spelling Police: the GH-Men!

[nellorat.livejournal.com]

I love this! Oh, yes, as in that old jingle:

Or when sounded as "a"
As in "neighbor" and "weigh,"
Or "weird foreign sheik"
Or absenteeism Aeneid agreeing albeit Alexei Anaheim aniseikonic
apartheid atheism atheist being Bernstein
Blenheim Bodleian Boeing Brandeis Budweiser casein Cassiopeia
counterfeit cysteine decaffeinate decreeing deify deity
deoxyribonucleic dyeing edelweiss Einstein Einsteinian einsteinium
Epstein Fahrenheit Ferreira Fischbein
fleeing forfeit forfeiture freeing gauleiter
Gegenschein Geiger Geigy gneiss Goldstein guaranteeing
Guggenheim Heidelberg heigh height heighten Heine Heinrich
Heinz heir heiress Heisenberg herein hereinabove hereinafter
hereinbelow heterogeneity Heublein Holstein homogeneity inhomogeneity
Janeiro kaleidescope kaleidoscope (your other kaleidoscope) Keith Klein Leigh Leila leisure leitmotif leitmotiv (your other leitmotif/v) Liechtenstein l'oeil Lorelei Madeira Madeleine McNeil Meier meiosis
Meistersinger mullein Neil neither nereid nuclei nucleic
obeisant Oneida O'Neill onomatopoeia onomatopoeic Oppenheimer Oresteia
pantheism pantheist pharmacopoeia plebeian Pleiades
Pleistocene Pompeii Poseidon prosopopoeia protein Raleigh Rayleigh (your other Raleigh)
refereeing Reich Reid Reilly reimbursable reimburse reinforce Reinhold reinstate ribonucleic Rosenzweig Schneier (who hacked his way in here) Schneider
Schweitzer seeing Seidel seismic seismograph seismography seismology
seize seizure Sheila sightseeing simultaneity
sleight sovereign sovereignty spontaneity stein Steinberg Steiner
surfeit teeing their theism theist therein
Thorstein vermeil villein Weierstrass Weinberg Weinstein weir weird Weiss wellbeing wherein
wisenheimer Zeiss

ancient coefficient concierge conscience conscientious deficient
efficient financier glacier hacienda inefficient insufficient Muncie
omniscient proficient science scientific scientist societal Societe
society specie species sufficient

ancient coefficient concierge
conscience conscientious deficient efficient financier glacier
hacienda inefficient insufficient Muncie omniscient proficient science
scientific scientist societal Societe society specie species
sufficient (your other ancient coefficient concierge
conscience conscientious deficient efficient financier glacier
hacienda inefficient insufficient Muncie omniscient proficient science
scientific scientist societal Societe society specie species
sufficient)

Re: Spelling Police: the GH-Men!

[kip-w.livejournal.com]

"Kaleidescope" seems to be an error.

Re: Spelling Police: the GH-Men!

[bibliotrope.livejournal.com]

Weirton -- a town in West Virginia. In fact, the one where I live.

People misspell it all the time.

Other weird facts about Weirton: our ZIP Code is a palindrome: 26062. And it was a Jeopardy question once that we are the only town in the U.S. that borders on two different states (our western city limit is the Ohio River, which forms W.Va.'s border with Ohio, and our eastern city limit is the Pennsylvania state line). The Northern Panhandle is about 5 miles wide here.

Re: Spelling Police: the GH-Men!

[rutemple.livejournal.com]

I still can't get it to scan to the tune of "I am the very model of a modern Major General" - darn!

[fjm.livejournal.com]

Where is Blair on this? a man who isn't dumb but is dumb enough to go along with dumb.

[del-c.livejournal.com]

It's

Tony Blair: believes George W. Bush
George W. Bush: believes Paul Wolfowitz
Paul Wolfowitz: believes Doug Feith
Doug Feith: Fucking Stupidest Guy on the Face of the Earth™

So Tony Blair has a Feith Number of 3.

[nppyinzer.livejournal.com]

I have to say, Bush deserves to be higher on the list, mostly because he started a land war in Asia because of Bible exegesis, while knowing nothing about the geography of Asia [1], while having never read the Bible, and while being unable to spell, define, or pronounce "exegisis".

[1] If he wants to deploy troops to guard the Syria/Iran border, then we're well and truly fucked.

[ckd]

He already does, and we already are.

(The Syria/Iran border being, of course, more commonly known as "Iraq".)

[barondave.livejournal.com]

The sad part is the Lebanon/Syria border that should be sealed off, which would help Lebanon immensely. Even when W is onto something resembling reality, he gets it wrong. Shrub often talks down to his audience, as if he's talking to five-year-olds. The weak minded, of course, are his primary constituency. All too often, I get the impression that's how his 'advisers' are talking to him. Bush is too dumb to be a good figurehead. Pathetic.

[nelc.livejournal.com]

I don't know, if you ignore the state of the world -- as he no doubt does when rating himself -- getting elected President twice is pretty good going for a figurehead.

[barondave.livejournal.com]

For certain values of "elected".

[shelleybear.livejournal.com]

What do you expect.
We live in a society that, for a time idolized Bart Simpson (chronic underachiever).

[kip-w.livejournal.com]

I keep thinking there should be a pie chart, and it should be made higher.

Excellent work.

[voidampersand.livejournal.com]

There is no such thing as too much pie.

Like this?

[del-c.livejournal.com]

Actually, that neatly sums up everything that's wicked and wrong about pie charts in general, and 3D pie charts in particular.

from Chary

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think Rond Vidar was crazy dumb!