Politcal Reporting: Parody that Transcends Parody, or, Beyond the Standard Model

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Courtesy of The Poor Man:

Anyone with any understanding of the political process understands instinctively that things like positions on issues, policy proposals, and voting records are entirely superfluous to any serious analysis. Candidates are, according to the Standard Model of Political Science, completely described as stable groupings of 3 characteristics or anti-characteristics, analogous to the "three-quark" model of baryons. These so-called "candidatons" are:

S: Southern, or nS: non-Southern
V: Veteran, or nV: non-Veteran
O: Outsider, or nO: non-Outsider

And on from there. Thanks to agrumer for the link, which fried my synapses.